Reign: 1x16 “Monsters”

Henry: “Lady Greer, well done with that kitchen boy. That nasty gossip is the first interesting thing I've ever heard about you.”

Salty goodness! How did I love this episode? Let me count the ways….  It is entirely possible that I loved every single minute of it. 'Cinderella a la Reign' plot, Henry’s mad behavior, Bash/Francis relationship, not to mention sparks were flying again between Mary and Bash, numerous new couples were formed and the future of several characters was arranged and rearranged again. YUM!!! Let’s talk.

The ‘Queen of the Bean’ was a nice but somewhat strange tradition, however let’s play along. At first it sounded charming, a lucky servant girl gets a chance to wear the crown, sit on the throne and boss around. Depending on the girl, king’s attention is either a pleasant bonus or an unfortunate obligation. At first, I didn’t suspect anything and was sorry for this innocent girl who was so genuinely happy to be a queen, even if only for one day. What a surprise! Innocent girl turned out to be a conniving ‘stupid kitchen whore’ who slept her way to the ‘bean in a cake’ and went straight for the King. Nicely played, Penelope! She was on fire! Not only did she know the exact approach to Henry but she also managed to get Catherine out of her throne. Epic mistake, the one I believe she will pay with her life. All that planning won’t get her further than the next episode, because she severely underestimated the real Queen. I can’t wait for Catherine to deal with her to the full extent of her law.

Wow! Henry went completely nuts! So much that I started to question where all this is coming from and most importantly where this is going. At first I thought it has got to be some sort of potion that makes him go regularly off the rails. Then I thought he lost it after the incident with the duchess. In this episode we got confirmation that Henry was the one who ordered guards to kill Bash. Not only this just doesn’t make any sense at all because he loves Bash, but it also means he was already not so well even back then. Time wise that puts us 2+ months ago, around the time of the wedding. Was he so happy at a prospect of getting England that his mind overloaded? And the million dollar question: why the writers are doing it? Are they gradually writing him off? 

If we look at this from a historical point of view it makes sense that Henry probably won’t survive past season one finale; after all Francis and Mary will have to become King and Queen and rule for some time, before Francis dies. Not that I want anyone to die, but like in Merlin, a dauphin can stay a dauphin only for so long. If that’s where they are going then I think I’d much prefer a sudden death for Henry like it happened in real life, rather than them ruining the character this way. Even before he became completely despicable, the character of Henry wasn’t my favorite, even though Alan van Sprang is a talented actor, the character was too one-dimensional for my taste. Having said that, I love his dynamic with Catherine, those two play off each other so well, I wouldn’t want it to end. Then again, I might be completely off with this theory and just don’t see the actual purpose of all this madness. Only time will tell.

We got to spend some more time with Leith. I thought we were done with him, yet both he and Lord Castleroy were still in the castle. So much has changed for those two. Poor Leith, instead of going to Spain and do the job he loves, he is shipped off to fight in a war. Like I said before, at least he has his head still on his shoulders, for now.

Even though what Henry said (see the opening quote) was indeed very rude, he was also very right. Lady Greer has been a single boring character on this show. Now, that she blew her chance with Lord Julien, she went back to being even more boring, because she accepted to marry Lord Castleroy. I have nothing against that poor pepper lord, but she could do better. Plus it’s not like she’s on a deadline to find a husband like Lola. Speaking of Lola – Lord Julian you made the wrong choice. Afraid of rumors about your wife kissing a kitchen boy? Wait until you find out that your wife is carrying a royal child. Whether or not he will marry Lola eventually, her secret will definitely come out sooner or later. I think at this point no one can predict Francis’ reaction, but we can be sure it’ll be a bad one.

And that bring me to the last scene of the episode. Mary and Bash. And all of a sudden I’m taking back my words about ‘lack of chemistry’ between these two. All Bash had to do was to marry Kenna. Who would have thought? I’m starting to think that being unavailable for each other is what makes them so hot. More of that please. 

Now, about that wedding. How ridiculous was it? I mean on a scale from 1 to 10, I’d say 30. Mad king, fake queen, crying bride… God! I know it was supposed to be tragic, but I couldn’t stop laughing. Anyone else? No? Just me then!

This episode also introduced yet another new couple. Nostradamus and Olivia. Strangely, I didn’t mind. I still don’t care much about Olivia, though she is getting more interesting, so maybe this new direction will give her more room to grow as a character. But what’s up with Nostradamus? I mean his refusal to dance with Olivia because the last time he danced it was with his wife was sweet, totally understandable and in the character. The little information we learned about his past was a nice bit. What bothered me here is the lack of continuity. Haven’t we once seen him with a woman in his bed? Yet here he is still grieving. All this felt totally out of character. If he enjoyed the company of women since his wife died, why not dance with Olivia? What’s the big problem? One might argue that a dance can have a much more romantic meaning than just sex. Perhaps. Or maybe the writers decided to forget about his previous affair and went back on track with the character. If so, I’m totally for it.

Historical bits

In real life Nostradamus also had a wife and two children, who died from the plague.

Some observations  

So Henry welcomes a temporary queen in his own way. No wonder this ‘Queen of the Bean’ is his favorite party of the year.

Mary was jealous when she heard Bash talking about Rowan! How interesting!

No Mr. Darkness this week; just his hand, albeit I’m sure it wasn’t his.

Rowan is dead; at least Bash thinks so.

Bash and Francis after some confrontation and hunting started talking to each other like brothers again. It looked as if Francis forgave Bash for what happened but then again he thought Bash was leaving forever. Now, that he is married to Kenna and stays in the castle I can’t wait to see where they will go with these two.

Memorable Quotes:

Catherine: “I must warn you that the king's... appetite in his bedchambers can be quite... rough. 

He has the appetite of a lion and the stamina of a horse, a horse that proceeds at a steady, punishing trot. It can be a... lengthy experience.”

LOL

Bash: “Listen to you. You have Mary and the crown and all of France puckering its lips to your ass, and still you're threatened by a bastard in exile.”

He summed it up perfectly.

Kenna: “You promised me someone with a title!”

Henry: “Fine. Bash, I hereby declare you the Master of Horse and Hunt.”

Kenna: “What does that even mean?!”

Guard: “I don't take orders from bastards.”

Bash: “Haven't you heard? I've been titled Master of Horse and Hunt. So, gather your horses and go out and hunt.”

Sol’s rating:  5 out of 5!